RYAN'S JOURNEY

Hey everyone!

I miss you all! It’s been cool to be able to connect with each other in new ways - but I think I speak for most when I say we cannot wait to be able to hang out with you guys again and have some laughs! 

If you don’t know me, I’m Ryan and I’m 21. I was born and raised on the shore of Lough Neagh in a place called Ardmore (Gods country). I grew up in the country and went to school in Lurgan. I am now currently going into my final year at Jordanstown studying marketing. Some of my all times favs are pizza, laughs and rugby - also like a hug! 

My faith journey began when I was very young - I grew up going to church and in a Christian family. We went to church on Sunday, Sunday school, children’s meetings - whatever was on we were there as a family. I always believed that God was there and loved us, but I never understood the concept of a relationship with a Heavenly Father.

As I started to grow older and move on with life - onto high school and into my teenage years I slowly started to drift away from church and God. I remember when I hit the age of 13/14, it was the summer before heading into the college, and as a young teenager I wanted to be someone who people would talk about, someone who people would know, someone who people would like before heading to ‘big school’. In my head I had this picture of being cool or one of the lads. 

As time went on, I began doing things I wouldn’t normally have done. Things I had been taught not to do, I started drinking alcohol, taking drugs and smoking a lot. For me this was a laugh, it was a good time - something I enjoyed doing with the lads. Partying all the time was fun for me. ‘It was just a one off' was always my excuse. But these things began to become more persistent and they started controlling my life. 

What’s the next fix? When’s the next party? ‘I can’t wait for the weekend’ all became a regular occurrence - I didn’t realise my life had changed so much over the years, how lost I had become, what was I living for? All these questions circled my mind - but nothing ever seemed to click.

I have always been a family person - I love my family with everything I have. But even then, I couldn’t see how much it was hurting them - how my lifestyle was affecting them. It broke them. It broke my Mum. It broke my Dad. It broke my grandparents. People I said that I love. Each and every day I was hurting them and not realising.  

I was always close to my grandparents growing up! I loved them so much - for anyone who is lucky to have grandparents spend time with them because it is precious. I lost two of my grandparents within the space of 3 years - my papa passed away of a heart attack and my nana was diagnosed with bone, lung and breast cancer. I remember at the time blaming God - saying ‘how could I believe in a God who does this to someone’ ‘You claim to be good, but are you?’  

After losing my nana, the partying got worse, I was struggling to cope. One night alone in my bedroom I decided I’d chat to God about it and see what he had to say. That night was different, that night something happened I struggle to even explain. I brought everything before God, my anger, my frustrations, questions and I was met with love. Right there on my bedroom floor I cried myself to sleep that night. I met God for the first time. 

I wish I could say that night was the turning point in my life - sadly I had a few downfalls after that, but I knew it would be a process, something I needed to work on and change. But I knew God was with me on this journey. 

Since that night, I began changing my life. I decided to take a year out after upper sixth to spend it with church on an internship. And that’s really when it all began! This journey with God has been crazy, it has been challenging, there have been tears, heartaches and pain but I know where I was and where I am now. God has been faithful, he has provided, he has restored. I wouldn’t change any of it.  

I believe in a God who loves us all. A God who forgives no matter what we do. That’s what I want - I want to be someone who follows God in all of life, with everything. With my family, my friends, lads at rugby - I believe that’s what we’re called to do - love people no matter their background, no matter their issues because we’re all the same. We’re all loved by God the father. 

To sum this up wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you have done. There is a place for you, there is love for you, God loves you so much, we will never understand. My life was going nowhere, it was a mess, I hurt people I loved - and yet God was standing waiting on me with open arms calling me back into relationship with him. 

Micah 6v8 ‘seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly’. Let us never forget what God has for us. 

God loves you.

God is on your side.

He is coming after you.

He is relentless.

- Eugene Peterson

Bless you guys! Love you all 

Ryan E