RYAN'S JOURNEY

Hi guys, 

I’m Ryan and I am 22 years old, born on the 5th of February 1998. I have just finished my degree in theology and getting married in August 2020. I love nearly all sports and play rugby for Lurgan rugby club. I am also a big Liverpool (it’s finally our year) and I enjoy drawing and hiking. 

My story is one of hope. The hope of God in the highs and lows of life. I was born into a Christian family and went to church since I was young, and it was at a young age that God captured my heart. I grew up in a traditional church background and I am so thankful for the teaching I received. I learnt a lot about God, but it wasn’t until later years that I got to know God. 

I enjoyed school for the most part, I loved the sport and, in the end, made some incredible friends. However, at times I struggled, I was also rather shy and afraid of what people thought of me. This meant I often withdrew from people and found myself alone. Although it was in these times were, I found intimacy with God. I would have always prayed but for the first time I knew Gods comfort and experienced His love. Suddenly God wasn’t just something I read about or heard about on a Sunday, but rather He was someone I experienced. 

As I said after a few years I made some great friends who are still my closest friends to this day. However, I still carried this mindset of fear and worry. I read into everything and over thought everything. It wasn’t healthy. My head was often filled with many voices but as I grew closer to God, I began to know the voice of the Father. In John 10 we read that God is the good shepherd and the sheep will follow Him as they know his voice, and they will flee from the voice of the stranger. So often we can have many voices telling us different things, but the voice of the good shepherd is one of life, identity, and peace. We must grow close to God, so we know His voice and when the stranger or the enemy comes, we flee from his lies. 

As I started to walk into my identity with God, I found that he really did offer life to the full. I was starting to care a lot less about what people thought of me and was able to be bold. School became a mission field to share Jesus. Even though small things. In 4th year we got to a final in rugby, so I got the team together beforehand to pray. It was simple but it was a big step for me. I felt I could be more open with my faith and knew that God was with me. 

As I mentioned, rugby was a big part of my life through school, and I probably found a lot of my identity in it. But the last to school years I was out injured, I tore my MCL in lower sixth and then the summer before upper sixth I tore my ACL needing knee reconstruction surgery. This was a massive disappointment for me but through it I found new strength from God. I found that I didn’t care about anything of the world because I kept my eyes up, I stayed close to Jesus. And this would only be the first of many challenges. 

After school I did an internship at Emmanuel (where I learnt a lot about my self and God) and then went to Bible college to study theology. In second year just before my 21st birthday my appendix burst, there was a lot of pain and I was a bit annoyed that I missed celebrating my 21st but after surgery I was good to go. Or so I thought, the wound had not been cleaned properly and an infection formed, and I was rushed back to hospital and was there for another week. Now I was like, finally, that is that sorted, time to get back to normal. The next week I get called back into hospital, during one of the scans, the doctor noticed that I had a tumour. Now at this point he didn’t know how serious it was and I would need to come back for more tests. This is probably the hardest part, I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t want to panic them, so I kept it to myself. And I stayed positive but of course you always think of the worse as well. 

This experience showed me the frailty of life. But I had a peace that I cannot explain, a peace that surpassed my understanding. My perspective was changed, I learnt what was really important and what wasn’t. Matthew 16:26 “For what profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul.” 

Eventually, after the tests I found out that it was cancerous, but very early stages, however, it needed to be removed at once with a third of my bowel. So, I went back into hospital, surgery went really well, and I recovered fast. But during it all I knew one thing, that God is always good. And after I got the all clear people would rejoice and praise God. But I found more peace in rejoicing and praising him even when things did not seem hopeful. When times were hard, I found my hope in knowing that God is always good, not just when life is moving smoothly.

You might find yourself in a valley at this moment, I can tell you there is hope because God is good, so praise Him. Maybe you are on a mountain top, and I can tell you God is good, so don’t forget about him, but praise him. Our lives are always changing, but He is steadfast, He is good and His love for you and me remains the same. 

God bless you all, Ryan.