JAMES' JOURNEY

Hey everyone, 

This is a weird way for me to be communicating with you guys, but hopefully we can hang out soon. It’s been a bit of a weird time lately, I’m going to share a bit of my life, my journey with God and hopefully you will be able to connect with it in some way.

If you don’t know me I’m James or Paddy (my surnames Patterson, bit of a weird one but just go with it). I’m 22, I live in Magheralin and have recently just finished uni, studying youth work and theology. For the last four years I have been working in church, one year as an intern and the past three years as a student youth worker, leading Vital. Big shoutout to all you Vital guys.

Anyways, my story begins with me being brought up in a Christian home. I was very blessed to have a great family around me with a great Christian family, bringing me to church and teaching me about God. I grew up going to Waringstown Presbyterian Church and I was heavily involved in youth. I was a die hard for that stuff, never missed a night loved hanging out with my mates and loved learning about and worshipping God. 

While growing up in a Christian home, I knew who God was, but I didn’t really ever connect with God as someone who knew me, is close to me and loved me until I was about the age of 12/13. One night I had been at a conference with this speaker from America called Jay Lowder, he talked about the intimate kind of relationship God has with his Children and how He loves us all no matter what we have done or how we have acted. That was the first time I ever encountered the Holy Spirit, I balled my lamps out, probably for a solid hour. I didn’t understand what was going on or why I was crying, but I knew God really loved me, I could feel it and so on that night I made a commitment to God, that I would enter into an intimate relationship with Him, serve Him and follow Him for the rest of my life. 

While making a commitment to God is great, it doesn’t mean that it was easy, you have to commit to follow through the good and the bad, trusting He is with you through it all.

From I was wee, I was always petrified of the dark, while this seems like a childish thing, I was 18 years old before I could sleep without a night light on. I used to have the most haunting dreams growing up, some people call them nightmares or night terrors. I used to get them every night, I would wake up in pools of sweat, not being able to move in my bed. I used to have dreams so horrific that I woke up went to school and felt like the dreams were coming to life around me, to the point were I couldn’t cope anymore. I remember one day in upper sixth breaking down crying in the middle of school. I felt lost, like I had absolutely no control - almost like driving a car with no steering wheel. That day in school, the teachers brought in Grant along with other youth workers like Chris from WPC, we used to chat about the dreams, chat about how I felt. 

This seems odd but I knew God loved me but I didn’t ever think to ask Him for help. Grant one day asked Him for me, I remember him praying for me, asking God to make these dreams stop. Sure enough they did! God saved me by taking those dreams away, I didn’t have any dreams after that for well over a year and anytime I did, I knew God was with me and that He could help me. 

God brought me so much joy throughout life, he’s kept me safe and secure through so many hard times. While life has brought great things like friendships, travelling around the world, it has also been hard. I’m a bit of a stresser (not a real word but go with it), sometimes when bad stuff happens in life its easy to keep things in, without talking. That’s what I have done, far too many times. It’s left me hating myself, not recognising the person I’m becoming, but yet God still has a plan for me, even when it’s hard to see. 

Getting help isn’t easy, sometimes it isn’t even easy bringing your worries to God, but it’s the best thing you can do. 1 Peter 5:7 says “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”

God loves you more than you understand, even if you’re like me and didn’t love yourself or the way you were heading, God still cares for you. It’s easy to feel far away from God, but He’s never far away from you.

If you need help, ask

If you need a friend, God’s with you

If you need direction, He will guide you

If you want to talk more in detail about any of this I’m always here for a chat, even if you just want to be heard, I can do that. Don’t let things sit and build up, act on it.

Love you guys,

Paddy